


Endings and Beginnings

by DanaiaCake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday Parties, Chaotic Miya Twins, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Miya Twins, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Osamu Being Protective but an Ass, Post-Time Skip, SakuAtsu Being Idiots, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaiaCake/pseuds/DanaiaCake
Summary: It was Atsumu's choice to have this setup with Sakusa.It was convenient and it helped them blow off steam... and it worked for them.That is until his stupid feelings got involved and now he can't help but feel like he made a terrible mistake because he's sure Sakusa doesn't feel the same way.***A "friends with benefits" story with Sakusa and Atsumu plus a dash of the Miya twins chaotic energy on the sideline.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 363
Collections: One-Shot Goldmine





	Endings and Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was inspired by two artworks by @kananking:
> 
> [THIS](https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Klx8bgVzE/) and [THIS](https://www.instagram.com/p/B-5z054AubE/)
> 
> I just like the contrast of the photos: one with Sakusa kissing Atsumu with his mask on (which in my head and fanfic was probably when he wasn't that comfortable with Atsumu yet) and on the second with the way Sakusa pulled down his mask to actually kiss Atsumu properly (when he knew he was already in love).
> 
> But that's just me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. Oh and BTW, I really love me some Miya Twins chaotic energy, so there. :)
> 
> If you liked this story, please do leave a comment or kudos or give a shoutout to me in Twitter [ **@DanaiaCake** ](https://twitter.com/danaiacake)

_ “Neh, Omi-omi, are you disgusted by me?” _

—

“And what did he say?”

“Nothing. Just stared at me and said nothing.”

“You sure he didn’t mouth the words  _ yes  _ and you just didn’t see it?”

“Why am I even talking to you? You’re just the worst.”

“You’re the one who called me, asshole.”

Atsumu groaned at that, earning a soft chuckle from his twin brother, Osamu, on the other end of the call. 

“Why don’t you just date someone else? Like… Hinata?”

“Are you kidding? That guy’s been pining over Tobio-kun since high school. It’s quite funny actually because I’m pretty sure the feeling’s mutual but they’re just too dense to realize.”

“Huh. How about Bokuto?”

“He’s already in a relationship and not to mention, completely whipped by Akaashi.” He grunted in response, “Besides, why does it even matter? Omi-kun and I aren’t even dating so it’s not like I’d be dating  _ someone else. _ ”

“...”

“What do I do, ‘Samu?”

“Suck it up.”

“Well, I technically already did…”

“I’m hanging up.”

“No! No! Wait! Don’t hang up!”

“I told you stop being gross around me.”

“I know, I know… I’m just…”

“Just what? Weren’t you the one who suggested this entire arrangement, right? So why are you whining now?”

“I know! But can you just…” The words faded from his lips as he didn’t know what to say or how to continue that. Osamu was right. This was his idea and stupid as it may seem, he couldn’t particularly demand anything more from his teammate.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was a straightforward, honest man and it was ultimately his fault why they got into this situation in the first place.

The first time he and Sakusa had sex was during a particularly hot night last summer after their training camp. Training had been particularly gruesome that day and because it was the last night of their camp, the coaches decided to cut them some slack and let them enjoy the night as they please.

Of course, booze was prohibited during training, but somehow, Inunaki, their team’s libero and his roommate that time had managed to smuggle at least three bottles of sake from the local breweries and passed it off as  _ gifts from fans _ so their coaches let them keep it.  _ In their room. With them. Big mistake. _

Almost immediately, the rest of the team were in their room, drinking the remaining hours of their training camp, hoping that the five-room difference from where their coaches are staying was enough distance to minimize the noise. 

Not even halfway through the night, they had emptied out the three bottles of sake and were chasing down its effects with some bottles of local beer they got from the convenience store outside. And after hosting three tournaments of arm wrestling competitions which Bokuto dominated… the rest of them were already too tired to even crawl back to their rooms.

He was sprawled on the floor beside a sleeping Hinata, staring at the ceiling, feeling hot and sweaty from the alcohol in his system when he felt something cold touch his forehead before a shadow dimmed his view. He saw Sakusa peering down at him, with a frown and Atsumu wondered why the guy was still even up after all the booze they consumed.

_ “Why are you not drunk?”  _ He asked, though he was pretty sure the words came out slurred and unintelligible. He did take the bottle of water and pushed himself up to a sitting position to drink. Sakusa responded something about not drinking a lot since he didn’t want to take off his mask, but Atsumu couldn’t be too sure because his head was spinning. 

Sakusa watched him drink, of course, he knew it was only to make sure he drank his water properly, but a huge chunk of his brain told him otherwise… because out of the rest their teammates, Sakusa chose to tend to him, so why?

He glanced at the man who was frowning at him, half of his face covered by that good-for-nothing mask which always shamefully hid Sakusa’s face from view. Looking at him, he began to notice the guy’s face closely, sharp jaw, brooding eyes, and those really cute moles on his forehead. In reality, he isn’t the typical good-looking guy nor is he the most personable one, but there is a certain charm about him that attracts fangirls to him.

Atsumu had to admit, he could see it now. 

He gave the guy a goofy grin which deepened the scowl on his face, “ _ What?” _ He asked him and Atsumu shook his head to say  _ “Nothing _ .” His eyes, however, wandered to the slouched figure of the guy and at how much he completely changed over the years. He knew him from way back, and he almost always associated him to one of the begrudgingly most powerful spikers in his batch to ever grace the volleyball court. He did think about setting for him one day, but so did he when it came to Hinata and Bokuto. He never saw him as something else other than the player that he is, but now…

_ “What do you want?”  _ Sakusa had asked again. His voice also changed… he still spoke quietly, but a deep baritone had existed somewhere when there was none. It sent shivers down his tingly skin. 

_ “I’m horny. Want to go back to your room and have sex?” _

To be fair, he didn’t know that Sakusa would easily agree to his drunken proposition. He didn’t expect Sakusa to go along with what he thought of was a half-meant joke at that time because well, he always thought the guy didn’t swing that way. 

But the next morning, he woke up not in his hotel room, but in Sakusa’s—butt-naked, nursing the most terrible hangover with no recollection of what had happened the night before. Sakusa was beside him though, in an equal state of undress and he just knew that there was no way nothing happened between them. Yes, the room reeked of sex and the only question that ran in his mind that time was  _ who topped who,  _ which he immediately found out when his hips throbbed the moment he stood up.

Of course, he blamed the alcohol for it, that time… but then something between them changed after that night, that they eventually ended up doing it frequently with each other.  _ To release the tension,  _ they both reasoned and for a few months, it was true for Atsumu. 

Being a professional volleyball player meant he doesn’t have much time to date and if he does, relationships wouldn’t even survive with his hectic schedule. Not to mention, the scandal it would cause if people find out that one of the top athletes of the country is actually attracted to members of the same sex. So yeah, Sakusa was convenient.

“I have to go.”

“What? Go where? It’s just two in the morning.” 

“Exactly. I have to go to bed.”

He stared at the clock, realizing Osamu was right. He seriously had to get to bed as well. Sure, it was the weekend but he promised to do some extra training with Hinata in the morning. Also, he knew his brother would need to be up early for Onigiri Miya.

“Listen ‘Tsumu, why don’t you go home for the weekend? ‘M sure mom would love to have you here. Would also help me get her off my case.”

“Why? What she’s bugging you about this time?”

“Same thing he did with you before. Kept fixing blind dates with me and her friends’ daughters.”

“Ooh… that’s bad. Guess since she learned I preferred dudes over girls she sort of pushed the responsibility of giving her some grandkids your way.” He shook his head, “Can’t you just say you’re also into dudes?”

“And what? Have her fix some gay blind dates for me? Who knows what she's capable of doing just to keep herself busy.”

“Well, she didn’t arrange blind dates for me.”

“Yeah? You know how many times I told her to leave you alone?”

“Oh, didn’t know that. That’s sweet of you.”

“Yeah, yeah. So you owe me one.”

“Fine. But I can’t this weekend. Team sort of promised to catch a movie after training so there’s that. But I think I can manage to take some days off to go home to Hyogo.”

“Good enough for me. As long as you could keep mom off my back for a few days.”

“Alright, I’ll see you, ‘Samu.”

“See you soon, ‘Tsumu.”

When he got off the phone, he hoped the conversation had somehow tired or calmed his nerves from the other one he just had with their team’s wing spiker. But the silence and lack of activity thereof only made it worse. He kept thinking back at the way Sakusa looked at him with an unreadable expression.

He didn’t even have a good reason why he asked the question. It was after he had cornered the man in the showers for a quickie to release all the pent-up stress and tension for the week. 

He blamed this to the rather grueling new training regimen they had which left the team drained when they got back to the dorm by the end of the day  _ (yes, even Hinata) _ . He didn’t mind the hard work, but the exhaustion left no room for  _ extra  _ activities at night. 

Maybe, that was it. He was too stressed out that he had suddenly become overly sentimental and he blurted out those stupid words. Of course, that wouldn’t be stupider than him actually developing feelings for the guy a few months after their little arrangement. He remembered telling Osamu not to worry about it,  _ it’s just a way to blow off steam, release some pent up tension, nothing more.  _

He and Sakusa managed to keep things purely physical—besides the guy isn’t exactly a personable type so he was sure he wouldn’t catch unnecessary feelings for him.  _ Boy, was he so wrong. _

Sakusa, for the most part was exactly what he had imagined and expected. Cold, aloof, and unimpressionable, the guy’s face basically screamed to  _ ‘leave me alone’ _ . He also doesn’t discriminate in terms of how he communicates with other people—he’s like that with his teammates, his fans, his friends… and that is why Atsumu got curious if he would be the same to a lover.

Not like they were lovers, but he would probably be the closest person that would fall in that category. It was already going on for eight months now, and he would have made significant progress if their relationship was a normal one. Oh, if only their interactions didn’t stop the moment their physical connection did.

_ Physical connection.  _ Even that would be a stretch especially when they haven’t even kissed each other. In fact, Sakusa even during their most intimate contacts would choose not to unnecessarily touch him excessively. Of course, it was natural for a germaphobe, and he shouldn’t take it personally because he’s like that with almost everyone, anyway… but, well…

_ I promise, my feelings won’t get in the way. _

Scratching his head furiously, he picked up his phone and sent a message to the guy, hoping he didn’t ruin whatever they have or whatever they didn’t have.

**To: Omi-Omi**

_ Hey, sorry about earlier. Hope I didn’t make things weird between us. _

He didn’t wait for a response knowing the guy would have been asleep hours ago. One thing he knew about him is that he doesn’t stay up any later than twelve. He put the phone under his pillow and closed his eyes, when he felt it vibrate.

His heart skipped a beat when he felt that, rushing to grab his phone only to curse silently when he read that the message was from his twin brother.

**From: Onisamu**

_ You know, you can’t keep living like that. _

**To: Onisamu**

_ I know. _

**From: Onisamu**

_ This has to end one way or another. _

**To: Onisamu**

_ I know. _

He tossed his phone on the side desk, feeling like a complete idiot for being scolded by his younger twin but he also knew he couldn’t help it because Osamu was right. He was about to go to sleep when his phone buzzed not with a message but a call. He would have ignored it but he thought it must be important for Osamu to call again since he just got off the phone with him.

He grabbed the phone blindly, answering it without even opening his eyes, “Seriously, you’re the one who told me to go to bed.”

“Oh, um…”

It wasn’t his brother’s voice. His eyes flew open and he checked to see…

“Omi-omi? What’s up?”

“Sorry… Did I wake you? I thought since you sent me the message that you’re still...”

“Oh, no, no... you didn’t wake me. I was just about to sleep. But I have a few minutes. What’s up?”

“Uh, I wanted to… um, can you open the door for me?”

“Huh? What? Are you…” It took a few seconds for his request to sink in Atsumu’s head, and even less for him to bolt from his bed to the door, opening it, not too quietly, only to find Sakusa outside his room.

He was already in his sleeping clothes, a plain maroon shirt and grey sweats, and the usual black mask over the lower half of his face. Except he had his jacket and running shoes on which made Atsumu curious. 

“Omi-kun, this is a surprise. What are you— _ ” _

“Let’s go for a walk…”

“N-Now? Do you know what time…”

“Yes.” Sakusa said coolly yet stiffly, his dark eyes focused intently on him. His heart skipped a beat at how they seemed to pierce through his very core, shattering whatever hope he had that he could put up a wall between them if they decided to end it in the future. A lump formed at the back of his throat just thinking about it…  _ maybe, that is what this is about. _

“Okay.” He whispered shakily, going back to his dorm room to fetch his jacket and sneakers before joining the guy outside for a walk.

It was cold and quiet outside which wasn’t surprising considering the time. There were no other people outside, and the only sounds Atsumu could hear were their footsteps against the dirt and the wild hammering of his heart. He walked a few steps behind Sakusa, his nerves inhibiting him from asking where they were going.

A few blocks outside their dorm was a vending machine and a bench and from the looks of it, it is where they’re headed. 

“You asked me to walk with you at this ungodly hour ‘cuz you’re thirsty?” Atsumu was chuckling as he bought two cans of grape soda for the two of them. “Coach would throw a fit if he knew about this.”

He placed Sakusa’s grape soda on the bench instead of handing it to him, knowing the guy didn’t like touching unnecessarily. They also sat on both ends of the bench, giving each other an ample amount of space between them. Sakusa picked up the can and began wiping it off with a handkerchief he brought as Atsumu popped his open and drank.

“Surely, you didn’t ask me to walk with you for grape soda, right? I mean… we have this in the dorm.”

“Yeah

“So, what is it about then?”

There was a pause and Atsumu thought that it was more for him than for Sakusa. The pause was almost an actual question of,  _ are you sure you want to go there? _

He definitely didn’t. Maybe, he’d rather go back to his dorm room… have Sakusa push him against the bed and take him from behind, just the way he liked it. No needless words, no pointless foreplay, no unnecessary touching. They get down to business quickly and roughly, it almost feels like they’re using each other all the time. Well, that’s exactly what it is, anyway. And when it’s over, they go back to their worlds relieved of the tension but feeling shittier than they were. 

Touching and all that mushy gushy stuff requires affection. And affection is reserved to your lovers.

“What you said.”

_ You know you can’t keep living like that.  _ He could almost hear Osamu’s voice and see his disappointed scowl while saying that.

“Hmn. Yeah, sorry if I made things awkward.” He said softly, “You can ignore them if you want.”

An ominous silence fell on them and Atsumu wished, sincerely wished, he was just dreaming all of these. Because the next few words that came out of Sakusa’s mouth just broke him.

“We should stop.”

It was like he was doused in cold, freezing water. His chest suddenly became tight and painful. He turned to see the guy staring straight at him, boring holes into his skull. The artificial light from the vending machine was illuminating him and Atsumu thought back on the night he knew what they had was getting more than the physical relations they started with.

Three months ago, he came back late from visiting his family back in Osaka because there was a storm and his original flight got canceled so he was forced to take a late-night bus. He was dead tired when he arrived at their dorm and be didn’t really expect his teammates to still be up to welcome him and he was right because all of them were already in their rooms, asleep—except for Sakusa. 

The guy had waited for him… in his dorm room. He was barely through the door when Sakusa grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him inside , with the force that would have knocked him over if he wasn’t fast enough to hold onto the guy.

He wasn’t able to pull the mask he had been wearing for the trip off nor did Sakusa who wears them on a regular basis before the guy unceremoniously pushed him against the wall and  _ kissed  _ him.

Technically, he didn’t know if it could be even considered a kiss, as their lips were not even touching but that was the most they ever got near to doing it _. _ And even with the fabric between them, their lips felt warm in the seconds they were connected until Sakusa leaned back and whispered a soft,  _ Welcome back  _ before excusing himself and walking out the room. Leaving Atsumu dazed and confused of just what the hell just happened. That was the first and last time they “kissed” and after that, he began to see Sakusa in a new light.

Yes, the sex was still great… but there was just something missing. It took a few beers and phone calls to his evil twin to realize that he was developing feelings for the other guy. 

_ I like you,  _ is what he should have said. Or maybe even something like,  _ Let’s start all over again _ . But he didn’t. Instead he gave Sakusa a small smile and said, “Yeah, I guess so.”

It was bound to happen anyway. He just sort of thought that he could hold on to the guy longer before their relationship eventually ran its course, but hey, it was good while it lasted.

Sakusa didn’t say another word and he wasn’t waiting on it anyway. “I should head back,” he said, rising from his seat to march back to the dorm. His heart was pounding against his chest and he felt like he’s being suffocated during the entire walk. Sakusa didn’t even follow him back. 

Only when he closed the door to his room did he manage to release the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding on.

He wanted nothing more but to curl inside his bed and let the exhaustion of the day wear him to sleep. So he did just that, kicked off his shoes and climbed inside his bed, putting the covers over his head when he heard a series of loud, forceful knocks on his door.

“Miya, open up.”

It was Sakusa and for the second time that night, he wanted to ignore it. Pretend he was already sleeping and didn’t hear. He could have—except for the second time again that night, he didn’t.

He dragged himself out of his bed and opened the door to the guy, frowning at the guy’s disheveled state. “What is _ —mmpfnng!” _

Lips sealed his instantly and the next words died from his tongue as Sakusa kissed him—pulled down his mask to his chin and kissed him properly. He was too stunned to do anything and the taller guy used this opportunity to push him back into his room, kicking the door behind them.

His back hit the wall, head thumping against it loudly as Sakusa continued to kiss him. His lack of response, however, didn’t go unnoticed and Sakusa leaned back to look at him. Atsumu would never forget his face… flustered all over, panting for breath, eyes glazed over. It was the first time he had seen the guy look fully alive.

He grinned, even when his heart was breaking into two pieces—he was glad, knowing the guy still wanted  _ this _ , but at the same time, he was also mad at himself because he was allowing this to happen again. He was supposed to be stronger than this— _ they  _ were supposed to be stronger than this.

But he could always blame it on the rough training. The pressure brewing inside them that they could only release in bed, together—as their bodies moved in a raw, unparalleled dance that they were incredibly good at. 

Here, they could be nothing but bodies in tangled limbs slicked with sweat inside a room clouded in inescapable heat and bit-back moans. They could pretend that the world around them would melt away and that the next day would never arrive. Because the next day, the heat would dissipate and the pleasure would make way for guilt and regret and disgust.

_ Right, this was just our form of release. Nothing more, nothing less. _

—

Saying goodbye to the team for his trip back home was uneventful. Of course, as expected by everyone… Hinata and Bokuto made a big deal out of it because  _ “You’re so lucky! We wanted to see Osamu-san, too.”  _ Sometimes, he thinks they like his twin better than him.

The two of them offered to take him to the airport and because he nor anybody in their team trusted the driving skills of neither Hinata nor Bokuto, the two managed to sequester the “ _ only remaining teammate available that day”, _ Hinata’s words, not his, which coincidentally was Sakusa.

They managed to borrow their coach’s car—he has a lingering suspicion it was only because it was Sakusa driving and not any of them. And because Hinata and Bokuto were “ _ too loud and too distracting”, _ again, not his words, they were confined at the backseat while Atsumu took the passenger’s seat… which would have been alright if he and Sakusa were not caught in a loop of forced small talk and awkward silences. 

Needless to say, things hadn’t been going great with the guy. Maybe it would have, if he wasn’t avoiding the guy like a plague for the past week. It wasn’t easy, especially because their dorm rooms were right across each other… but he had to do it or else, the awkwardness would just grow.

The only times they saw each other was during training… and even those were quite unpleasant experiences. Atsumu was off his game for the entire week, even the densest of the team which were Hinata and Bokuto, said something about it. Which was why he did take a leave to go back home in Osaka.

He buckled himself up in his seat, glancing up at the quiet guy in a surprisingly stylish brown trench coat and a complementing dark turtleneck and pants, who was just buckling himself up. He kept thinking if he should have just taken the cab and not let Hinata and Bokuto who already forgot about him and were now playing some games in their phones at the backseat, bully him into driving him to the airport. But alas, they were already here.

_ Only for tonight,  _ he thought as they pulled out from the parking space and onto the road. His coach and the team’s manager agreed to give him a two-week vacation. 

He reasoned that it was the perfect timing since if he did this, he would only be missing two practice matches and they still have at least three more months before the pro league starts. It also helped that he rarely takes vacation leaves so when he brought up the idea, they were more than willing to let him go.

Except for Meian who was there when he talked to the coach, his explanation revolved around him missing his family, feeling a little tired so he needed a break to straighten up his play, and totally not because he needed some time to clear his thoughts and flush out his system to get rid of feelings and emotions that were clouding his mind and affecting his performance.

“Hey, Omi-kun!” Hinata called Sakusa who glanced at him through the rearview mirror, “Could we listen to some music?”

Sakusa shrugged before turning back to the road. Hinata connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth. After some time, a groovy song in a foreign language filled the car and Hinata began humming to it as he and Bokuto got back to playing some games.

It almost felt like they were babysitting kids and Atsumu suddenly felt bad for leaving Sakusa behind with them.

“How long will you be gone?” Sakusa asked after a while. Of course, he didn’t know as Atsumu made it a point to tell his team about his vacation when Sakusa was out for a jog so he only got to hear about it through the others.

“Two weeks. My mom insisted I spend our birthday there with them. I think they’re planning something to celebrate but I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Hmn…”

“Why?”

“...”

“Heh, don’t miss me so much while I’m gone.” He joked, turning away to look out at the window. He saw the forced grin plastered on his face at his reflection on the window. “I’m sure you’ll do just fine with Mirai-kun. He’s also a pretty skilled setter.”

_ Besides, he did seem to have a little crush on you as well, but that’s not the point. _

“You trained him well.”

“I didn’t train him. He’s just—“

“Copying you, yes. And he got good so what does that say about you.”

“Omi-omi, are you actually complimenting me?”

“Yes. But you don’t have to be all weird about it.”

“Fufufu, coming from you… I’d take it.” The smile he gave him wasn’t forced this time. Sakusa shifted a bit on his seat and he realized it was because he was ogling at him and it made the latter uncomfortable. He looked away.

“Won’t be the same, though.”

“Huh?”

“Your presence, I mean… and his… regardless of how close he will be at your skill level, it still won’t be the same.”

He gaped at Sakusa, his heart in his throat, chest tight and painful. He was about to say something but the song ended and Bokuto and Hinata cheered from the backseat because they won the game. And when the next song came up, it just felt like he already missed his chance to ask exactly what he meant. So he didn’t say anything again.

Not even when they reached the airport and he had to say his goodbyes. Hinata and Bokuto had a lot to say—to Osamu, sending off some souvenirs to his twin brother enough to make him jealous. “We like you a lot, but Osamu-san is a lot cooler, no offense,” Bokuto said and Atsumu almost smacked him, “I take that offense, asshole.”

Hinata did manage to slip in a gift for him since it will also be his birthday, so he’s all good. Sakusa didn’t give him anything—but he did ask the two if they could leave them for a bit to talk which Hinata and Bokuto happily obliged because they wanted to go to the gift shop.

It was weird, however. Because when the two balls of energy left, they just stood there in awkward silence—the same one that kept them from being in the same space without feeling the need to bail in the past week they’ve been avoiding each other. Or  _ him _ , specifically but that didn’t matter anyway.

“You’ll still message me, right?” Sakusa asked.

“Would you want me to?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Nothing. Just a question. And well, yes. I’d keep in touch.”

“Hmn…”

“What?”

“We barely talked the past week and we just live across each other.”

“Ah, well…” Atsumu gave a sheepish grin, “Guess I got so busy preparing for this vacation.”

“You were avoiding me.”

“Huh? No, I was just—“

“That wasn’t a question.”

“Are you mad?”

“Why should I be? You have every right to do what you want. But I, at least, want to know why.”

Atsumu looked at him. Under the heavy light of the airport, Sakusa looked even taller, looming almost. He sighed, “Listen, Omi-omi… I just—need to sort things in my head, okay? But I’ll talk to you when I get back.”

“What—“ Sakusa wasn’t able to finish his question as his flight was called for boarding. He gave the wing spiker a sheepish grin and a small wave, “See yah.”

There was a look on Sakusa’s face that stuck with him that made his footsteps heavy but he ignored that feeling and forced his way to the boarding gate.

He’d deal with this when he’s alone. For now, he needed to get away.

—

If he knew Osamu and his mother would do nothing but to slave him away with hundreds of chores and errands—he would have not come home. 

He couldn’t even catch a break and only caught up with things back in Tokyo when Hinata and Bokuto Skyped him the other night, only to complain that they missed him so much. When he asked why, the two shared a meaningful look before they said that,  _ it’s just tough working with a certain someone. _

He was, of course, quick to defend Mirai, thinking they were talking about him, saying that the guy is pretty talented but of course, he just needed to get used to the pace—but Hinata shook his head and told him it wasn’t Mirai who was the problem.

_ It’s Omi-san. _ Hinata had said and Atsumu was more confused.  _ What about him?  _ He asked and both guys shrugged, their expressions totally lost when they said,  _ We were hoping you could tell us. We wanted to cheer him up. _

It was stupid. Sakusa never needed cheering up as he was blessed/cursed with an emotional depth of a teaspoon and a monotonous series of expressions. Surely, they were mistaken,  _ but  _ a sincere part of him—the illogical, selfish, stupid part, wondered if it had anything to do with him.

He empathized with them, but he couldn’t really do anything about it… especially if it meant he needed to talk to Sakusa. So he just told them to hang in there and wished them luck.

For the next five days, he had done nothing but tend Onigiri Miya, do deliveries…  _ and  _ most especially, have his mom bug him about  _ that guy back in Tokyo you’re dating… when will I get to meet him?  _ He hated Osamu for luring him into this. Hated him more for blabbing because one, he told that to him in confidence; and two, he wasn’t really dating him.

“I told her you’re dating someone so she would stop pestering you with blind dates. You ungrateful ass.” Osamu hissed when Atsumu confronted him about it.

They were out doing groceries—finally gifting themselves with a break because it’s their birthday today. They were buying stuff for their birthday dinner which their mom is going to cook tonight. They also invited some old teammates who were in Hyogo, specifically Kita, Ginjima, Akagi and coincidentally, Suna who just arrived yesterday to visit home. More than anything, Atsumu was looking forward to not doing anything while Osamu worked the kitchen.  _ His mother never trusted him with anything save for boiling water. _

“You could have been coy about it. Tell her something else instead of me dating.” He complained while tossing a bag of carrots in the cart. 

“Right.” Osamu said, taking the bag of carrots Atsumu just tossed inside and replacing it with a fresher one, “I should have told her you were just fuck buddies. That would have been way better.”

Atsumu had no response to that because Osamu was right. But it didn’t mean he would stop bitching and griping about it. Osamu ignored him for the most part, already used to his antics but eventually, he had to address it again.

“Listen 'Tsumu, I’m sorry okay?” Osamu finally said, “It was not my place to say anything but I was getting tired of her bugging me about you so I slipped. Then she just sort of made the connections. But I never mentioned his name.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes but noticed Osamu was holding a slab of fresh and fatty tuna, “I’ll cook your favorite.”

There’s a reason why he just can’t stay mad at his twin—and he hates how Osamu knows and uses this to his advantage. He takes the fish from him before shoving him off, “Not a word on Omi-kun at the dinner table or I’m walking out on you.”

“Fine… fine.” Osamu said as they finished their groceries. They paid for their purchase and headed back to his twin’s truck.

Atsumu, at least, was glad that there would be no mention of Sakusa for the evening. He came here to avoid thinking about the guy and he really didn’t need any more reminders of him. They haven’t texted each other since he came here and he figured it was because both of them are a bunch of liars—pretending to be friends, when in truth they were barely acquaintances.

But,  _ fuck _ , he could have at least texted him today. He had the perfect excuse. It was his birthday and it wouldn’t be weird to send a greeting.  _ Or did he forget?  _ No, that would be impossible considering all the MSBY members greeted him in their chat room—which by the way, he didn’t even visit. This wasn’t unusual, though as he typically hated participating in them.  _ But still… _

He was in this state of mind, that he didn’t even realize they were already home, until Osamu stepped out of the truck and asked him if he ever planned to help with the groceries. To which he sneered at before he did help out.

“Tadaima, Okasaaan!” They called out, slipping off their shoes by the genkan when their mother—their forty-year-old mother came rushing down the hallway from the kitchen. “What the—“ both of them were shocked at the frantic state their mother was. “Remember when you told us no running in the house?” Osamu asked but frowned when their mother grabbed Atsumu by both arms.

“Atsu-chan.” She looked really earnest and Atsumu felt a little anxious at how  _ crazy  _ her eyes looked. “You didn’t tell me  _ he _ ’s so good-looking.”

_ Good-looking what? _ He and his twin brother shared a confused and worried look. Osamu was the first to ask, “Okasan, who are you talking about...”

“Your twin’s boyfriend!” Their mom replied incredulously, “You didn’t even tell me he’s coming today.”

_ Boyfriend?!  _ “What? What are you saying? I don’t have a…” his voice trailed off when someone came up from behind his mother and into view. Beside him, he heard Osamu gasp then cackle ridiculously. His mother had let him go and was giggling like a little girl beside them as Sakusa Kiyoomi—walked up to them and gave him a soft,  _ Hey. _

Atsumu was staring at him, shocked and speechless. Osamu took that opportunity to drag their mother away, “Go have fun,  _ aniki. _ ”

_ Oh, _ he would have punched him.

He grinned at Sakusa, “Sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“For the mistaken identity. My mother thought  _ you  _ were the guy I was dating.”

Sakusa cocked his head to one side, “Were you dating someone else, then?”

“Ah, no, no. I mean… she just thought you were… I mean she wanted to set me up on blind dates and Samu… ah I mean… nevermind.”

An awkward, tensed silence between them ensued and Atsumu regretted even bringing that up now. He hung his head low, ashamed and just exasperated at even trying to explain.

“I’m sorry, too.” Sakusa murmured softly. Atsumu thought he was imagining it but the guy wasn’t wearing his mask so he could read his lips. “For dropping by all of a sudden.”

Atsumu needed a few moments to understand before he nodded, “Ah, no… that’s fine. I guess I was just surprised you’re here. I mean…  _ why are you here? _ ”

Sakusa’s face suddenly twisted uncomfortably—he began chewing on his lip which Atsumu found surprisingly cute (and sexy) because he had never seen nor never even knew Sakusa could have that really adorable (and sexy) habit.

Before he could respond, however… someone called from the outside, easing up the tensed atmosphere. Atsumu answered the door to a smiling Kita and to an unimpressed Suna.

“Kita-san! Long time no see.” Atsumu greeted his former captain before turning to Suna, “Thank you for coming too, I didn’t think you’d actually drop by.”

“I got dragged by Kita-san.” Suna blankly stated as he walked in, “It’s just my luck to be here when the  _ Miya  _ twins are celebrating their birthdays.”

“You talk as if I’m not here.”

“No, it’s more of I’m talking as if  _ I am not here. _ ” Suna corrected.

Kita merely patted Suna’s shoulder and the two looked up at something behind him. “Isn’t it a long way from Tokyo, Sakusa?” Kita quipped. Suna raised a brow, “Don’t tell me, Atsumu also dragged you here. I don’t even know you two are friends.”

Atsumu gave them a listless chuckle, “Well, we are teammates. He is my wing spiker, so…”

“Oh, Kita-san! You’re here!” Osamu poked his head out from the kitchen upon hearing their voices. “Suna. Been a long time.” Osamu said clapping the middle blocker on the back. The guy took it better which made Atsumu wonder just how many people prefer his twin more than him.

_ Probably a lot. _

They exchanged greetings as Sakusa stood there, looking like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. It was amusing, to be honest. Sakusa’s desperate look was pitiful, but Atsumu swore he would not rescue him this time. Osamu suggested they move the reunion in the living room which everyone agreed to.

Sakusa followed wordlessly but even when the rest of his old teammates arrived and had gathered in the living room, he usually kept to himself, busying himself with a bottle of beer which Atsumu knew he never liked.  _ He’s a lightweight and couldn’t hold his alcohol well.  _ He was also already wearing his mask because of the crowd.

Atsumu was pointedly ignoring him—which was fine because his mother was fussing over him, anyway. The unanswered, unasked question hanging in the air was,  _ what is he doing here?  _ Atsumu wished he could give his teammates an answer, but even he was shocked and confused. So he made sure to deviate the topic from that and drowned himself with food and beer.

Still, he never missed the desperate looks Sakusa had thrown his way for the entire evening and though he was trying so hard not to look, he could sense it on his peripheral. Osamu was the one who got tired of it all. Dragging him to the kitchen under the pretense of helping him get some drinks, Osamu finally cornered him, “What the fuck are you doing, 'Tsumu?”

“Huh? What are you saying, 'Samu?”

“You and Sakusa. He’s been staring at you the entire night, it’s creepy.”

“Staring at me?” Atsumu chortled. If even Osamu noticed, then it must have been really obvious. Atsumu sighed, “I couldn’t very much control that, can I? It’s his problem and I have nothing to do—“

_ SMACK!  _

"What the fuck?!" Atsumu hissed and rubbed the spot on his head where Osamu hit, “You’re seriously dumb if you think he’s here for any other reason than you.”

They had a stare off as Atsumu tried to process all these in his hazy brain. When it did, he just felt more pathetic. He sighed, “I think this is just some booty call.”

“Yeah, no shit. Not trying to be rude or anything but I’ve seen your  _ booty _ and I ain’t traveling miles for that.”

“Fuck you, 'Samu.” He hissed before rubbing his forehead in annoyance, “What the fuck am I supposed to tell him, huh?”

“How about being honest for once? just once?”

“...And if he rejects me?”

“Didn’t you tell me he rejected you already that night? Weren’t you whining about that over the phone?”

“...oh that.” Atsumu totally forgot that he never mentioned how he and Sakusa sort of  _ hooked up  _ again after their talk. Osamu glared at him when he figured out why he hesitated. “Don’t tell me…”

“Well, it was the last time we did it! I mean we didn’t…” Atsumu reasoned out but from the looks of it, Osamu wasn’t buying any of his bullshit excuses. Finally getting tired of it, his younger twin grabbed his arm and dragged him to the living room until they now stood in front of Sakusa.

The guy stared blankly up at them. Especially when Osamu grabbed him by the arm, too and yanked him up, “You, come with me.”

It was a sight to watch Osamu drag both their asses across the living room where the old Inarizaki volleyball team was gawking, confused at the spectacle before them. But he managed to throw them both in Atsumu’s room.

“You two sort this out or you…” he pointed at Atsumu, “Won’t fucking get your tuna.”

“What? That’s unfair! That’s the highlight of my night—“ he stopped when his twin gave him a disinterested yet stern look. Before he left, he gave them a warning, “Also, no fucking while you’re in this house. Don’t be animals.”

With that, he was out the door and Atsumu was left with a half-inebriated Sakusa who was looking up at him with glassy eyes. He was sitting on the floor, legs stretched out, leaning against the bed, looking incredibly lost and freakishly adorable.

Atsumu observed him for a few minutes, the way his body moved sluggishly, before he sighed and sat beside him, their bodies awfully close, “Omi-omi, why are you here? If you came all the way to greet me a happy birthday, you know a simple message would suffice.”

Sakusa didn’t answer.

“You know we don’t have to do this, right? You… we already decided to end whatever it is between us. You didn’t have to—“

“I came to apologize,” Sakusa finally said. His voice was a little slurred but he understood him perfectly. 

“For dropping by unexpectedly? That's okay. I was just shocked but—“

“Not for that.” Sakusa interrupted again, “For being… indecisive and not saying the right words.”

“What are you saying, Omi-Omi?”

“That night… I wanted to end this casual thing with you…” Sakusa wasn’t looking at him, his dazed expression just staring ahead, at the empty space in front of him, “Because I wanted to start over again… properly this time.”

It took a few seconds for what Sakusa said to click in his head but when it did his face burned—it was like all the blood rushed to his head. He gaped at Sakusa who still looked incredibly drunk, unable to believe the guy could be this open to him—and then it dawned on him.  _ He’s drunk. _

“Omi-Omi, are you drunk?”

Sakusa finally lifted his eyes to peer at him. He blinked slowly, “Yeah.”

Atsumu sighed.  _ He probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow. _ “Figures. You’re talking nonsense.”

“No. I’m not  _ that  _ drunk,” Sakusa shook his head before the motion made him dizzy and he decided to lay his head on the cushion of the bed, “I meant what I said… but that night, you ran away and well, avoided me in the days that followed so I figured you didn’t want anything else apart from our physical relations.”

Atsumu gawked at him, realizing what kind of idiot he— _ they _ were _.  _ “Are you fucking kidding me?  _ I  _ thought you wanted to end things because you were getting tired of me.”

Sakusa tilted his head to the side to regard him. Atsumu wasn’t done yet, “I thought you wouldn’t want that because when I asked you if you were disgusted by me, you didn’t say anything.”

Sakusa frowned at him but didn’t say anything. Atsumu wasn’t even sure the guy understood what he was saying, “Omi-kun, are you in—do you  _ like _ me?”

They were silent and still for a while until Sakusa straightened himself and turned to stare directly at him, “I guess… maybe, I do?”

Atsumu gaped at him, his heart pounding so loud he could barely hear the next words that came out of Sakusa’s mouth. The silence that followed was longer this time and Sakusa clicked his tongue in annoyance, “You can’t have me answer that then say nothing afterward.”

He would have said something but his tongue felt too heavy and his chest, too tight. It was too much, really. Having Sakusa admit he sort of,  _ maybe _ liked him was too much for his heart. He curled in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest to hide his flustered face.

“You can’t just say that and expect me to know what to say.” He mumbled. “Also you came all the way here for that? You could have just waited for me.”

“I didn’t plan this. It’s just… you were not talking to me.” Sakusa said, peeling off his mask to reveal a pouty face underneath.  _ Adorable.  _ “You were not talking to me even when you promised to and I just miss—I mean… I was such a mess.”

Atsumu was left dumbfounded by what the other guy almost said  _ was he just about to say he missed me? _ And then Sakusa leaned against his shoulder and Atsumu froze. He can feel Sakusa’s warm, alcohol-laced breath and he thought if it was possible to get second-hand intoxication because he is definitely feeling lightheaded.. 

_ “Miya.” _ Sakusa called softly, voice low like a growl and he shuddered unconsciously. His voice is doing things to his body—none of which innocent. “Do you like me?”

He glanced down at the guy, his ears ringing, his vision foggy. He couldn’t see Sakusa’s face, but the tips of his ears were red so at least Atsumu knew even he was getting embarrassed at this. He took a deep breath and held it in before he released it together with his answer, “Yeah.” It was so soft he wasn’t sure the other heard it, “Yeah, I do like you.”

He was scared Sakusa would ask when but thankfully the other guy didn’t. In fact, he was too quiet—that Atsumu had to peer on his face only to find him staring blankly at nothing, totally out of him. He sighed, “I told you, you drank too much.” 

He pushed Sakusa off of him, who grunted as his head fell on the mattress, displaying his face in full view. “How much beer did you drink, really?” Atsumu asked, to which Sakusa groaned, closing his eyes in response. Atsumu did see him holding a bottle of beer all evening, but he thought it was the same bottle—as it turns out, he was wrong.

He chuckled and shook his head, “I’ll fetch you some water.”

He was about to stand up and leave when a hand reached out to grab his wrist. Sakusa’s look was so intense, he shivered on the spot. It was the same look he has whenever they’re in the court and he’s calculating his next move… Atsumu wondered if the case was the same here.

Sakusa pulled him back and he came down on the floor with a loud thud. His first thought was,  _ the people downstairs definitely would have heard that _ … but Sakusa had crawled up on him, pinned him to the floor by the shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him. 

The kisses were wet and sloppy and tasted like beer, but he opened up easily to the other guy, slotting their mouths together and sliding their tongues to mimic the way their bodies ground against each other.  By the time they parted, he was already hot and hard… and considering the tent rubbing across his thigh, so was Sakusa. The guy went down to kiss the line of his jaw and neck, sucking and nipping as he moved along, and every bit of movement made Atsumu burn like hot coal. 

Sakusa pulled up his shirt, without removing it completely, just to reveal his chest. _Hngggh!"_ He gasped out loud when Sakusa nibbled on a nipple. Atsumu arched his back, giving the other guy more access which Sakusa took advantage of, flicking the other nipple with his thumb. When the guy sucked hard on the hardened nub, Atsumu had to cover his mouth and bite back a moan.  _ Fuck, I missed this so much. _

He was in this disheveled state when the door suddenly sprang open to reveal an incredibly pissed off Osamu, “You pigs. I told you no fucking in our house.”

He and Sakusa froze… until Atsumu who made no effort to cover himself up, rolled his eyes at his twin before asking, “Do you know how to knock?”

Osamu was fuming, “Fuck you.”

“Fucking cockblocker,” Atsumu snapped, but he did pull down his shirt and sit down. Sakusa moved off of him which really sucks because he loved being pressed down by the man’s body.

“The next time you and your boyfriend do this shit again, I’m telling okasan.”

“Wow, real mature.” He sneered until he realized what Osamu just said.  _ Boyfriend. _ He looked up at Sakusa who sobered up from shame and yet, for someone embarrassed looked quite placid, save for the red flush on his face.  _ Are they, finally? _

“If you two are done, then head down because mom just came back with a cake. And I swear, if you don’t come down in five, she’s the one knocking on the door.”

“Fine, fine. Just go.” Atsumu sighed in exasperation. Osamu left them alone again, and he and Sakusa moved to straighten themselves up. They were about to leave the room when he decided to pop the question.

“Neh, Omi-kun.”

“Hmn?”

“...are we…”

“Are we what?”

_ Wow, he didn’t know it would be this hard.  _ He swallowed an imaginary lump and took a deep breath to steady himself. Sakusa sighed, clearly getting more impatient, “ _ Miya.” _

When he looked up, lips had already claimed his in a quick yet searing kiss. Sakusa was smiling at him—the first time he ever saw him did and it looked so unreal and so breathtaking, he was stunned for a few seconds before Sakusa spoke again, “Will you be my boyfriend?”

**+++**

**Author's Note:**

> Your comments and kudos are very much welcome. If you liked this, I might try writing another SakuAtsu fic but focused on my headcanon of Sakusa as a BDSM daddy or something. Hahaha!
> 
> Send some love or a shoutout on Twitter! :)
> 
> [ **Follow me on Twitter @DanaiaCake** ](https://twitter.com/danaiacake)


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